winds_voice | 16 - [Accidental Video/Action]

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16 - [Accidental Video/Action]

[Eley wasn't happy.

Not only had he been subjected to an experiment that had forced him to relive an experience he was trying to forget, the recent post from the Malnosso had riled him up even more. So they did it then... they used that weapon. And all he did was sit back and let them.

The Spirit was finding that he was being pushed more and more to his limits lately. That yes, perhaps he was becoming more emotionally invested in things than he should. The truth was, he was sick of being trapped in this bubble with no way out and of being stuck in a world he barely understood. He couldn't go after them... he couldn't do anything. Even if he did somehow break free, he had no idea what he would do or what it would accomplish.

Eley was angry and frustrated and seemed to be losing grip on his emotions again even after returning to his otherwise normal state here. Of course, throwing his journal in his frustration had only caused a feed to record without his knowledge as it smacked against a rock. There isn't much to see, just a lot of dusty rocks at a slanted angle and a blue patch of sky. You can probably tell it's in the mountains at least.

...but it's what can be heard that's likely more worrying. There's a large crashing sound followed by the incessant tumbling of several small fragments of rock clattering to the ground. The image of the feed becomes obscured by dust, and then everything falls silent.]

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[Eley flinches as he feels someone suddenly touching him on the shoulder and turns to see... Rudy?]

What are you doing here? Nobody should know that I am out here... or what I have been doing.

[He'd done enough damage before that people had witnessed first-hand. Eley wanted to protect them now... let him try to deal with it alone where they wouldn't be afraid or hurt.]

That's, well, a little hard when you sort of left your journal on.

[With a concerned frown he holds up the journal, having collected it earlier.]

See? ... I recognized this place, so, um, I came here.

... [Oh. That would be a logical reason yes... The Spirit looks a bit embarrassed that his little outburst must have been captured in some form in that case.

He gives a soft sigh.]

I know you must be concerned for me. I have found myself overwhelmed by recent events. Being shifted back into the mental state I found myself in after being rejected on Aether... was something I did not want to revisit. I did not want to scare anyone either, or do them harm.

Then I learned of that weapon being used against the cultists. I know this is not my world, my war, and I know little about the details behind the conflict, but... it still upsets me to see such a weapon used on so many people. Not only that but... the tone, the attitude of the Malnosso. I am feeling more trapped by the day and I feel that they care little about it.

I have an... urge I suppose, to break free. To do something about this. Though I know not what.

... I know. It was hard for all of us.

[Rudy frowns at the mention of the shift bomb. He remembers being present -- how everyone had to be present -- for that discussion, and how hard it was for everyone to settle on a decision. And he knew very well how much Eley didn't approve of war or violence.

It wasn't easy by any means. Nor did everybody approve of it -- Rudy certainly recalls Cross's outburst at them well enough. And thinking about it, there very well could be others outside the barrier or in other enclosures who felt the same way. No matter what decision they would have made that day, there really weren't any winners. CJ's attitude in his recent annoucement only served to rub it in.]

Can't say I'm fond of how they're treating this either. I know they're supposed to be the ones helping us, but... [He trails off, leaning back into the ground with a drawn-out sigh. It's frustrating.] There's just so much going on right now.

...it should not matter to me one way or another in the end. Only because I have emotions and feel more human do I feel more closely tied to the people here.

I suppose I am not quite sure what to do with this feeling of frustration. I feel powerless... What more will happen if I stay here?

[What else will he have to suffer through at the hands of someone else? And what more will they expect him to do for them? He had thought he would be happy enough staying in Luceti indefinitely before. Now... Eley wasn't so sure.]

I don't know, but I'm not holdin' out on their offers of "psycho-therapy" or whatever they're trying to get us to do.

[Really, as far as Rudy saw things, the Malnosso seemed to have their own internal problems going on with both Zompano and Bil on the loose. Hard for them to help anyone when they barely have themselves put together, but of course, Rudy couldn't claim to know everything going on.]

Guess the drinks wouldn't hurt. [Still lying down, he focuses his gaze upwards towards the sky.] ... I don't blame you. I sort of feel the same way.

I am not sure if I could ever willingly take an offer from them... I do not trust them.

[He trusted Rudy though and having a good friend by his side certainly made him feel more at ease.

Then he mentions drinks. Of course Eley had tried several drinks by now and he was now aware that his thirst would catch up with him in extreme conditions. He might not understand exactly what Rudy is suggesting here, but drinks had never hurt him in the past anyway! And now he's at least somewhat distracted from how he feels right now.]

What kind of drink would you recommend? I would not be opposed to joining you should you wish to have one.

Well, normally I don't mind, but...

[Some might find it odd that Rudy's had alcohol at his age, but Rudy himself doesn't really think much of it. He's not that heavy a drinker, but it doesn't mean he's opposed to one now and then. It's not really that strange a sight in Filgaia anyway, and most pubs were more concerned about money before their customer's age. And if anyone had gella to drop, it was often the drifters.

Of course, it didn't stop other drifters potentially bringing it up in an attempt to ridicule or rile him up. Jack's certainly teased him about it once or twice. Still, Rudy's smart enough to know where this is going. He looks at Eley, frowning.]

Eley, have you even had a drink before?

I have had a few... namely tea, and some strange fruit-flavoured drinks at parties.

[He remembered how warming they were actually on a cold day. It was an odd sensation but not exactly unpleasant. Of course, he hadn't had too much back then, just tasting really~

...and of course he didn't seem to understand the difference between alcoholic drinks and non-alcoholic drinks either. A drink was a drink to him. Eley sensed some kind of apprehension in Rudy's words though. He wondered if there was something he should know.]

Is there a problem?

["Strange fruit-flavored" drinks indeed. That certainly doesn't spell good news towards Eley's overall experience with drinking. Rudy lifts an eyebrow, keeping a questioning tone.]

Strange in what way?

They were sweet... but they also had a slightly bitter taste as well. I did not consume much but I remember feeling rather warm inside after tasting several of them.

[Eley still wonders if there's a problem afoot here. Should he have not had those drinks? He didn't recall anything particularly bad happening after tasting them...]

Sounds like they were alcoholic.

[And it sounds like Eley's never had much alcohol at all. Rudy sighs.]

Let's talk first before we have anything later. If we have to get drinks, I think it's better to stick with tea for now.

[Oh... well... the way Rudy's sighing leads Eley to believe that there was something he didn't understand about this alcohol. Perhaps it was a good thing they would get a chance to talk about it before he did anything wrong.]

I... see. May I ask why? I had no ill effects from what I had before, though I suppose I did not have much in the first place.

... Well, that's the thing. If you have too much alcohol, you get drunk.

[Is he speaking from experience? Perhaps so. Granted, Rudy always did have an unusually higher tolerance than most his age (let alone weight), but that also meant it was far too late by then the first time he's realized he's had too many.]

And being drunk, well... it's sort of different for everyone. All in all, it makes you do things or act in ways you wouldn't normally.

[That seems to startle Eley somewhat. Acting in ways he wouldn't normally... he'd already had a taste of that and it had nothing to do with something as simple as a drink. Could he have been one step away from danger back then in that case?]

Then why do humans seem to enjoy something so dangerous? Are they not concerned about what might happen should they have too much?

Well... when you had those fruit drinks, you felt warm inside, right? Did you feel relaxed too?

[It's just an assumption on Rudy's part, but he's guessing Eley at least knows what he's talking about. Providing he had enough of those drinks back then to feel it.]

[Relaxed... Well, yes he supposed he did. He was with Tsuzuki at the time though and his presence always made him feel more at ease, even back then. So could it be that the drink had had some influence on him as well?

The Spirit gives a nod.]

Yes... it did help me to relax in an otherwise uncomfortable environment.

See, that's what some people do. They drink to relax and have a good time. It's a social thing people do.

For others, it's what helps them forget any problems. [And then he pauses, his overall expression taking on a more somber tone.] Some will just keep on drinking just to forget everything for a night.

[And that's exactly why Rudy would rather they'd discuss what's going on first before doing anything else. The last thing he wanted to see was Eley resorting to getting drunk in order to forget his problems.

From the explaining tone Rudy was taking on with Eley, it almost felt like he was explaining this to a child too. Which was somewhat odd to think about, given recent events between them.]

It's just what some people do, Eley. ... Anyway, we should talk first. [He pauses, apprehension building up in his voice.] I remember you from the other day. During that experiment...

[Put like that, Eley could see the appeal. If he felt more relaxed, he didn't feel so uncomfortable around unfamiliar company and therefore he could enjoy himself more, right? And there were many things he would rather forget now. Still, he can't help but find it alarming that people would ignore the risk of doing something they might regret later.

...all of that was put to one side momentarily however as Rudy brought up events that had passed between them more recently.]

...I remember as well. I am sorry if I scared you, Rudy. At that time, I was out of control. Even so, you helped to calm me somehow, so I should thank you. Then again, children have always seemed to have that affect on me.

[Rudy shakes his head.]

Don't worry about it; what happened back then wasn't your fault. [He moves to place a gentle, assuring hand on Eley's shoulder.] It sounds like you still have a lot on your mind. ... If you need it, I'll listen.

[Now that he's not quite so on edge, Eley is a little more receptive to that touch and he finds himself relaxing more this time. Rudy wasn't angry at him or afraid of him. He was still here as a friend and the Spirit was grateful for that.]

Thank you... Rudy. I had thought perhaps I would have scared everyone away with my previous behaviour.

...then again, many of them were young and that helped to curb my rage. Had you have approached me as you are now, I may not have been as forgiving.

[Which pains him to admit, but at least they had pulled through now. No point dwelling on the past, really.]

I suppose the more that happens to me here, the more vulnerable I begin to feel. It seems that I cannot escape these experiments, nor can I make any steps to put an end to them. It is hard for me... I want to be helpful while I am here.

Not only that... but I am led to question the people who decided that using the bomb was a good idea.

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16 - [Accidental Video/Action]

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