winds_voice | 7

[Wherever Eley happens to be right now, it seems pretty windy. Whether it's because of his influence or just the natural way of the weather, you can't really be sure, but thankfully his voice carries loud enough not to be hindered by the wind.

Only... his tone might sound a little less curious than you're used to. Somewhat distant. Perhaps even a tiny bit sad?]

As I have recovered enough from my illness to venture out with no ill effects, and since the weather has improved, I have decided to take the opportunity to seek shelter in the mountains. While I would still prefer to refrain from keeping myself in confined spaces for too long, I am hoping I will be able to make use of any shelter I find in future to prevent myself from falling sick again.

I would like to take a moment to thank the people here for teaching me your ways and helping me to take better care of myself. It has been an... interesting experience.

However, I also must announce that I will be staying in these mountains for quite some time. I would... like to ask you not to seek me out.

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[He doesn't want to mention the conversation he had just now. He doesn't really want to talk about it at all in fact. Yet... Saleh deserved an explanation at least.]

I originally intended to integrate myself more with humans when finding myself trapped in Luceti. However it has come to my attention that this may not be the best course of action. Certain... memories have surfaced. Now I find that it is not clear whether or not growing close to humans would be the best course of action.

...I am trying to protect myself.

I see...

[That was enough of an explanation to deduce what was bothering the spirit, along with what he had been told in their first conversation. Saleh can only guess that Eley was referring to the memories of being betrayed by the humans.]

So you fear that you will be betrayed again?

...yes. Yet it is not that simple, now that I have grown fond of a few of you. I am trying to decide whether or not it is worth the risk to... grow close.

I do not handle pain very well, this I know. I should never have been able to feel like this in the first place.

Hmm. I believe that it is worth the risk... However, ultimately it is up to you to decide whether the risk is worth it to you. Surely you do not plan to abandon the ones you have grown to trust? Are they worth so little to you?

One of the greatest benefits of having friends is that they can help ease the pain if it becomes too much to bear. If you do not handle pain well, that is one thing you cannot afford to throw away. Even the friends I have are few...but without them, I doubt I would still be standing.

If I felt as I did when I first came here then perhaps it would have been easier to separate myself from the people I have met. You are right, I have... developed a degree of trust between myself and certain individuals.

I do not wish to make it seem that your help has not been appreciated. However I must come to terms with what it means for myself as Spirit to feel so close, and risk the hurt that could come with it. Not just from betrayal... there are other factors too.

Oh? Could I ask what those other factors are?

[This really makes him think as well. Thinking about how the Great Dragon lives. Separated from humanity, perhaps for the same reasons. To protect himself from betrayal and possible attacks, and to protect the humans from his own wrath. Because of this, Saleh realizes he should respect Eley's decision more.]

Perhaps...I have thought of you too much as a human, and I would apologize. As a greater being, perhaps a certain degree of separation would be vital. Still, I cannot help but worry about the idea of your never returning again. I have grown fond of you as well...not just as a Spirit, but as a friend.

There is also loss and guilt. Naturally humans have a far shorter lifespan than I do. Perhaps it would come as a surprise to you that I had grown fond of others even outside of Luceti, though perhaps not quite to the same extent, having kept that distance. Guilt comes with many things. Feeling helpless to change, feeling sorry for ending lives.

[Because Eley had a certain degree of wrath in him too. He didn't cope with pain very well. The Spirit could see a time when he would get too close, be hurt brutally a second time... and he would unleash it on those he cared about.]

It is strange for me to admit but... I have felt much less like a god in your company. Perhaps... I would call you friend too.

[Oh, Saleh knows all about the guilt.]

Guilt...I am all too familiar with that. It is admittedly something I still struggle with myself.

As for death, the fact that it is only temporary in this world is something of a comfort...though I cannot say how it affects those who die of age. I cannot say I like the short span of death either, for I fear it would cause us to lose respect for life itself.

...I understand if you need some time in solitude...but to dwell too long in the negativity alone can be dangerous. Eventually, the pain will consume you. So even if you must separate yourself at times...I pray that you will return.

Really I should give more respect to humans for their ability to harbour such emotions... and carry on their short lives.

Yes, you are right. That death is so fleeting is both a blessing and a curse here, I feel. Still, there may come a time when we all return home. We will still have to say goodbye, and will likely never meet again...

[True they had no way of knowing if it would ever happen but it was a possibility. Honestly Eley knows he's hurting himself just doing this right now.]

I will remember your words, Saleh.

Yes...that day may indeed come. But I would still be happier parting on good terms rather than through death. The fact that we may have to say our farewells one day is all the more reason to cherish the time we spend together. And then those happy memories will comfort us through the pain that comes with the farewell.

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