winds_voice | 14 - [Action/Voice]

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14 - [Action/Voice]

[For those who pass by Eley today as he wanders through the village, they might notice there's something a bit... off about him. Perhaps it won't become readily apparent until they speak with him, but there's an almost hopeless look in his eyes and he seems almost reluctant to make any move to do anything himself. He might stop in front of a shop as if wondering if he should go inside... only to change his mind. Others also might see him watching them doing whatever they're doing, a look that tells them 'no, don't do that'. It's unnerving to say the least. Maybe someone should find out what's going on with him!

At some point he ends up sitting by his recently planted tree up on the Cherry Blossom Hill. It's here he makes a short and rather strange recording.]

[Voice]

I am beginning to wonder why I keep trying. Trying to mend things that are broken, trying to fit in where I do not belong, trying to express feelings I do not understand... and every time I regret how helpless and fruitless I am.

I cannot save anyone... I could not save those who came before.

I should give up. And so should all of you. After all, you cannot regret a decision you never made.

(OOC: So it's time for Eley to be suffering under the effects of the Heart Shard of Regret! Feel free to talk to him about his odd mood or find him under the tree/wandering the village~)

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[What is this Saleh is hearing? What could have caused this?]

...Eleytheria? What has happened?

[Her body almost seems to go cold when she hears that first sentence, and what follows after does nothing to subside the flare of concern. But when she speaks her voice isn't shaky in the slightest, rather it is even and almost demanding.]

Eleytheria, where are you? [She is not leaving him alone.]

[He gives out a gentle sigh.]

Nothing has happened... at least not recently. I am simply beginning to realise how my decisions have changed things for the worse. Therefore I should stop acting on decisions to avoid regretting them in the future.

Would you too not enjoy a life free from regrets?

...I am on the hill by the site of my tree. Perhaps even here there are things I will hold onto that will haunt me later.

Do not come here.

[His voice isn't threatening, but firm. He's obviously trying to give her a warning.]

...What sort of decisions have made things worse?

[There's a small pause.]

We are only human, therefore we do make mistakes. Sometimes we do make bad decisions out of ignorance. But when that happens, we learn from our mistakes and strive to make better decisions in the future. I...have made my share of bad decisions, certainly.

If I ask what is wrong with going there, would you answer? [Not that it would deter her, she's already on her way toward him. It was only fortunate that her house was so close by.]

I haven't the foggiest why you keep trying either. It's all rather pointless.

There is no pleasing some people, and it is a fool's errand to even care enough to try.

...decisions far in the past. Perhaps even some more recent. They can change the way another sees me. [Yes he's being deliberately cryptic. He's not sure if he should announce it so easily.]

I understand... but even then those future decisions have the potential to turn sour. You will grow old and become burdened with regrets for all of those mistakes. It would be best if you stopped now... stopped making those decisions.

...only that you might regret it.

[Why she would he's not entirely sure. But it was a possibility and that was enough for him to try to deter her.]

If you do not come here then nothing bad will happen. You will be safe.

Not just me. Everyone, including yourself. You will all become weighed down with regrets, especially those who live the longest. Whatever plans you may have, abandon them now before it is too late.

Even if I do, it would be by my choice wouldn't it? And I will accept the consequences of my decisions. But I don't think I would regret helping a friend in need. [Every word she said was true, even if she spoke them softly. While she still wasn't sure why he was thinking this way, maybe she could help him from delving further...]

But what about you? I think the likelihood of regretting not helping you is higher than my coming to you.

So you're just going to worry about how people perceive you and how things can potentially turn sour? Sitting there worrying will accomplish nothing.

We can't exactly know how our decisions will affect things. Sometimes we just need to take that leap of faith. And how others perceive you will matter little in the end. Your true friends would forgive your mistakes. And how others perceive you does not change who you are. If they do not accept you, then they are not your friends. Not everyone will accept us, but we just have to accept that fact and follow our hearts.

I know...I have seen some people who utterly despise me.

[He knows it's true... and that everything Saleh is saying makes perfect logical sense. But at the same time Eley finds it hard to accept. He can't do it... he can't make any more mistakes in his life. What was wrong with him? Why did he have this desire to stop people from making mistakes, including himself?

But... it wasn't just that. Saleh's last words distract him from those thoughts for a moment.]

Despise you? What reason would anyone have to despise you?

...I do not know.

Deep down I know that I am not making any sense. But I do not want to see you hurt from your mistakes. I do not want to contribute to the regrets you may have in the future.

I feel... afraid of what might happen. Something is wrong here, and I am no closer to understanding what that is.

There are many reasons. Their beliefs may differ from my own. Or the bandits that I fight, because I "get in their way". Or perhaps they know I speak the truth, and don't want to admit it, or it's too painful for them.

You can't mean that...

Hah. No.

I have no regrets, because I do not care. You ought to try it.

...I suppose there will always be those with different beliefs or those selfish enough to push their way to their own goals no matter the consequences.

You are right that we will all have friends and enemies. I know my friends... and I do not wish them any ill-feelings. That is why I am offering this warning. Live a life without regret by avoiding the decisions that may cause it in the first place.

You... do not care?

But no, that is the point of my warning. I care for my friends. I do want them to suffer from their mistakes. If I were to stop caring then we would all suffer in the end.

[He seems to be trying to convince himself of these words. These thoughts in his head that seem to have gripped him despite his obvious struggle.]

I do... of course I do. Nobody wishes to suffer... regrets cause suffering. The only way to avoid it is to stop making those choices that will lead to suffering. Surely you must understand that.

You haven't given me any regrets. [And she meant it, but at least he realized how he sounded right now. Frightening, was that it? It wasn't entirely that, but she was worried nevertheless.]

Could you tell me more? [Her voice is growing quieter, but only because she didn't want to announce her arrival to where he is too soon. Just in case he ran away.]

[ The recording strikes her as peculiar, even if she doesn't know the man speaking. Maybe he had just reached his breaking point, but maybe it was more than that. She had been looking for possible signs of heart shards...could it be? ]

But why do you think we should give up? That just sounds so...unhappy.

Not yet... it is only a matter of time. [And he was sure he would gain more out of it too. Life was full of regrets... was it really possible to avoid all of them so easily?]

More? I... do not know what more there is to say. I am a slayer of humans and an immortal being with no power to help those who need it. I will continue to watch many more die... including my friends.

I regret what I have done, as well as what I cannot do.

I believe it would be far unhappier to live a life full of regrets. So why not give up and avoid it entirely? No more will have to suffer... I will not have to suffer either. No, giving up is the only option. I have done enough damage in my lifetime.

I care so little, it could best be summed as a negative number.

They might suffer. You wouldn't care.

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